the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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