It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
