She said her name was "party"
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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