shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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