Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
