She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
