he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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