So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
