some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
