just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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