Quick, to the slutcave!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
