walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
