Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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