just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
