I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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