I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
