you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Randomize
