Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
