put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
