Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize