Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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