I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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