You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
