Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Actions speak louder than pants.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
BRING THE BAGELS
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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