Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
