its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
