apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
