Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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