no, he came in my armpit
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
