Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The power of my boobs compel you
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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