I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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