Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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