he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
