If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
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