Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
