No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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