dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Pappa wants mamma naked
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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