Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
