is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
