but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
