I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
