I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
