You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
