If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Mom said you looked used
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
