fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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