I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
