I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
