told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
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You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
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