I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
