can we get nightvision for the apartment?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
