I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
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