erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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