why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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