So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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