I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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