Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
