Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
