their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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