I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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