You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
